Forgiveness is one of the hardest and holiest things we are called to do. Many people come to me and say, “Father, I want to forgive, but I just don’t feel it yet.” That honesty is a beautiful place to begin. Forgiveness doesn’t deny our pain—it faces it in the light of love. But the truth is, forgiveness is not primarily a feeling. It’s a decision, an act of the will that opens the door for grace to heal the heart.
When Jesus hung on the Cross, He didn’t wait for a feeling of peace toward those who hurt Him. He chose to forgive: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) That moment wasn’t born of comfort but of love—love that refused to let hatred have the last word. When we choose to forgive, even through tears, we are sharing in that same divine act of mercy.
Feelings often follow our choices, not the other way around. When we decide to forgive, God begins to soften what feels impossible. Over time, the anger lessens, the wound begins to breathe again, and peace slowly enters. The Church reminds us that forgiveness is both an act and a journey—it begins with our decision and unfolds as grace transforms our heart.
So, forgiveness is not pretending that the hurt didn’t matter. It’s saying: “This wound no longer defines me, because Christ’s love is greater.” It’s a decision that sets us free from the chains of resentment, and in time, that decision bears the fruit of peace.
Lord, help me choose to forgive, even when I don’t feel ready. Heal my heart as I trust Your mercy to do what my strength cannot.
— Fr. John Matthew, for Christian Way
